Weighing the scales/Tipping of the scales

As every coin has two sides, every prospect has its own pros and cons. It is upon us to weigh them carefully and decide how the scales tip.

Agreed the common path is smoother and easier to trod, but the road less taken promises greater adventures. And if I were to take my fluttering heart into account, all that it wanted to do was throw caution to the winds and “sail away”!

(Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it sure gave me my “new life”)

As was expected, I was flooded with calls from “concerned” relatives each of which invariably contained the underlying message that I could still go back to my “options” and start over with a clean slate. Yet, what they failed to realize was that I was happy with my choice – one that I had taken after careful consideration of the pros and cons.

[Initially, I tried explaining it to them; but after about a year of doing so, I knew it was in vain and stopped. I wanted to learn my own lessons; see for myself what the ‘big bad world’ was like. Although it was slightly intimidating in the beginning, I soon learnt that all I had to do was to hold my own.]

Every time my parents called, they would pick up a new point to argue on. Their favorite one still remains that my current job has nothing to do with what I studied – “What are you doing in a call center or a bank for that matter, when you are qualified to be a journalist?” And my standard reply would be that I love my job (initially, I tried explaining how my degree assisted me in doing a better job at communicating, but they simply wouldn’t hear of it!)

My qualification was good enough to land me a good job at a respectable media house, but not enough to guarantee a “stable” job – one that had fixed timings, fixed remuneration, and benefits. And that was the kind of job that I was looking out for! My position with the bank offered me the better of two worlds: the timings were consistent; job guaranteed and it also helped me hone my communication skills in the meanwhile.

Eventually, the relatives gave up; leaving my parents alone in their “struggle to make me see sense”. And with the obvious happiness that I have found, they too now find it hard to argue me down. Though my mother still tries at times to play the guilt card, I know I have won the battle.

On The Anvil

As in the Shakespeare classic, yours truly too is stuck in the moral dilemma – to be or not to be. This situation becomes all the more aggravating when your personal interests stand to be at complete odds with those of your family and friends.

Yours truly comes from a long line of overachievers (excluding her immediate family of course!). It is but natural that all eyes are on every move that she makes (or does not make for that matter…). So, when it was her turn to choose a career, she was given the “valid options”– Engineering, Medicine or a career with one of the IT giants at the time. However, all the glitz and glamour of a high profile, highly paid job with any giant could not persuade her to give up on her dream to set out on her own path – a road less taken. And much to the chagrin of her parents, she chose to do a BA in Mass Communication & Journalism and further opted for a bank job.

[Taking up the job in the service sector led to many eyebrows being raised and questions asked; as there obviously were other more lucrative jobs on the offer. But then again I listened to what my heart had to say. For as the adage goes, at a later date, you regret the things you did not do more than those you did. ]

Six months into the job, I turn around today to take stock and stand at the precipice.

Inexorably, I had expected myself to excel immediately; to rise and shine in this new field. What I had overlooked was that not everyone is good at everything – it took time and effort to learn and hone skills and deliver excellence. This slight on my behalf led to quite a lot of avoidable despair. I was miserable to learn that I wasn’t meeting expectations when it had become a habit to excel. College friends who learnt of my job said “Why is the class topper stuck in a call center job?! What are you doing with your life?” Relatives (and parents) took it upon themselves to counsel me and ‘make me see sense’. Nevertheless, I had the one reason that trumped all – I love my job; love what I do and do what I love. On the other hand my average performance on the job and constant questioning from my peers had sown the seeds of reservation in my mind.

[It was at this time that I was confronted with the fact that all I needed to do was be open to learning. I needed to unlearn a few things, learn a few others; relinquish a few old habits and pick up some new ones. Needless to say, it was hard but requisite].

That is how I come to stand at crossroad of sorts: to be the nonconformist and continue on the path less trodden, stumbling and recouping or to take the easy way out, sticking to a monotonous routine which guarantees demarcated benefits and achievements.To let my heart rule as always or let my head take over.